A name to remember…

Do you recall trying to decide on a name for your children?  This was a hard decision for my husband and I.  How in the world do you choose something that will stay with a person for their entire life?  To complicate things, both of our children were born prematurely and we were unprepared with a name.  I remember the person at the hospital repeatedly coming by and asking what name we had chosen.  She was like the “name police” until we finally decided.  When our first child was born, he was in ICU for some time.  What to name him was a topic of conversation often.  We’d mention a name and the nurses and other parents would say “nay” or yeah.

With the choice of a name being one of such importance, it amazes me that my very best survivor friend’s parents knew exactly what name was meant for her.  RUTH.  The name in the Bible that means friend; companion;vision of beauty.  Ruth was indeed all three.  Her beauty was both outside and inside.  She loved things of beauty and, as a result, sought out beautiful places in her travels.  I was so fortunate to be able to join her in doing this with our trips to places like Bald Head Island and Arizona..  Ruth’s beauty was probably best seen in her efforts to share the beautiful earrings she made with others in the chemo room.  I have seen fear in the faces of patients turn to smiles when presented with Ruth’s  beautiful earrings.  But, truly, what really gave comfort was the caring, gentle way she gave of herself in sharing them.

Ruth was a friend to me in so many ways. Have you ever just met someone and known that they were meant to be your friend?  Well, that’s how it was with Ruth.  We met at our support group soon after she was diagnosed.  Our bond was strengthened as we learned just how much we both enjoyed the same things.  When Ruth would have treatment, I’d take her and when it was my turn, she’d take me.  Of course, we would always do something fun when we were done.  Fun was an important part of our friendship.  We had a motto that we both lived by.  “When you feel well, you have fun and enjoy your life.”  We understood each other and had very deep talks and shared both our joys and fears.  Yes, friend describes Ruth perfectly.

My friend Ruth passed away last week and I miss her so much.  It will be hard to live in this world without her strength, her gentleness, and her fun-loving spirit.  I thank those of you that have reached out to me since her passing.  Nicky, her very best friend, and I are planning a Celebration of Life for Ruth on January 19.  If you would like to join us, please leave a comment with your email address.

A true angel.. Ruth…




  1. clbanner@comcast.net

    What a beautiful description of a beloved friend.  Light and love to you as you mourn her. 


  2. Page Pond

    Oh, patsy….my heart aches for you. It is so hard to lose a friend……and especially as close as the two of you were. I am so sorry for your loss. I would love to be there to support you @ Ruth’s celebration of life, but i will be working out of town. I”ll be with you in thought and prayer that day as you are every day……my heartfelt condolences


  3. dina blazek

    Hello Sweet Patsy, I hope it goes without saying if you need any assistance in planning the clebration please let me know. Love and wishes for the Merriest of Christmas’ to you and your family. Love, Dina


  4. Kaye

    Patsy, what a wonderful tribute to our beautiful friend Ruth! Yes, yes, I plan to be at the Celebration of Life!

    Merry, Merry Christmas to you!

    Love, Kaye


  5. Trap

    Patsy, I know right now your heart feels pretty empty. The one thing I have learned on this journey is certain people enter our lives with a divine purpose. It can be to remind us of things we already know like how we continue to need to open up our hearts to new people and share in their love. I am glad that you and Ruth were able to share such a wonderful friendship. Although the amount of time you got to share was shorter than you both would of liked, the Good Lord had heaven’s gate open for Ruth.
    I wish I lived closer so I could attend the celebration of Ruth’s life. Please know that I love you and care a lot about you.



  6. Donna Beaman

    …and Friend describes Patsy perfectly, too. Love you, Donna


  7. Patsy, the time you spent with Ruth will be wonderful memories that will support you while you morn her death. Your writing was a unique tribute to Ruth and the bond you shared.


  8. Becky A

    So sorry for yet another loss of our friends. My thoughts and prayers are with all my NC girlfriends…..y’all are so wonderful and I love you all.


  9. Carin

    Miss her every day


  10. Donna Newman

    I’m very sorry for the loss of your dear friend, Ruth. I’m sure you were just as special to her. I hope that you have many fond memories of her.


  11. Stephen Davis

    My current bout of flu and heavy medications put off my full comprehension of Ruthie’s sad passing and its effect on everyone else. Now it is hitting me. I ache for how hard it has hit you. I knew you were close and she must leave a big hole in your life. I can’t really imagine how much you must hurt. Despite my desire, I can’t find any words that would comfort you. You deserve to be held and rocked. Ruth


  12. Alicia

    I remember my first group meeting. I was so nervous to share my story, just to be there really. I felt that my cancer couldn’t be nearly as bad as ladies that dealt with Ovarian Cancer. You are right, Ruth had a way about her that just made you feel comfortable, like you were important and what you had to say mattered. I have never met anyone like her before. I didn’t get to know her well but the time I spent with her told me she was a sweet, soft spoken, gentle and very kind lady. I am the better for knowing her.


  13. Belinda Stevens

    I loved Ruth dearly and miss her so very much. The three of us had some special and fun lunch dates! Ruth was always there for everyone! Many times she took me for Chemo or blood work. I have shared with friends that didn’t know her that she was the kindest most caring and loving person anyone could have known. We are all so blessed to have had her in our life. I do want to celebrate her life on the 19th and would love to help in any way. Love, Belinda


  14. monica

    miss i will be there


  15. monica

    i miss her .i will be there


  16. Deborah

    You honor your friend with such beautiful words. May her friendship live on inside of you and with your words of hope and healing for us all.


  17. Maggie

    I am so very sad for Ruth’s passing, how lucky you two were to have each other.


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